A Blog by a Kiwi
putting the donation button on my blog back

vaporwave-official:

When someone knows who you are

image

anarcho-animeism:

dance dance revolution has always disappointed me.  where is the death of the owning class and end of wage-slavery? this is no revolution of mine. liberals

hannahblumenreich:

this came out of a discussion with a friend about the spider-man movies. i mispoke, saying something along the lines of, “when spider-man lands on the american flag,” when i meant to say was the flag pole but of course, the damage was done and now you all have to look at this ridiculous thing. 

sologatos:

44423

youthxcrew69:

THIS IS A CAT PLAYING IN FALL LEAVES THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT

I will admit it. I have read all three books in the Fifty Shades of Grey series.

I am not admitting this because I am ashamed of my sexual desires or even because I feel the need to rant and rave about the poor writing quality of these books. (And it is extremely poor. I set my Kindle to count how many times the word “gasp” is used in the third book and the total was more than 70). I am admitting this because I feel the need to share my opinions about what I consider to be the incredibly — and dangerously — abusive relationship portrayed in the books.

When I first heard about Fifty Shades of Grey and learned they began as Twilight fanfiction, I swore I would not read them. I have read all of the Twilight books and I did not enjoy them. I found the relationships between Edward and Bella and Bella and Jacob to be patronizing and emotionally abusive, and I also thought the writing was pedestrian at best and boring to read. Why would I devote the limited amount of time I have for reading for pleasure to a series like this?

But as the dialogue about Fifty Shades of Grey increased, both in the media and amongst my friends, my curiosity was piqued. I attended a talk titled “Fifty Shades of Grey - Bad for Women, Bad for Sex” and decided that I should see what all the fuss was about.

To quote the book, I gasped. I rolled my eyes. I even bit my lip a few times. But not for the reasons Anastasia, the protagonist, did. I did out of exasperation, boredom and disgust, but also out of fear. After reading this book series, I am deeply afraid that this type of relationship will be viewed as the romantic ideal for women. And I consider that to be extremely dangerous — much more so than anything that takes place between Christian and Anastasia in the Red Room of Pain.

Could the character of Anastasia Steele be any more of a stereotype? She is an introvert, has low self-esteem, has abandonment issues from her father, apparently has only one close friend who bullies her and even though she works in a hardware store, she doesn’t seem to possess any self-sufficiency aside from cooking for her roommate and herself. She seems to have no sexual identity until Christian Grey enters her life and requests that she become his Submissive in a sexual relationship.

In order to be Christian’s submissive, Anastasia is expected to sign a lengthy and detailed contract that, amongst other requirements, requires that she exercise four days a week with a trainer that Christian provides (and who will report to Christian on her progress), eat only from a list of foods Christian supplies her with, get eight hours of sleep a night and begin taking a form of birth control so Christian will not have to wear condoms. Anastasia negotiates a few terms of the contract with Christian (she only wants to work out three days a week, not four), but all of her negotiations are only within his framework — none of the terms are hers independently. Nothing in their relationship is hers as an independent.

The character of Christian Grey is a rich, superpowered businessman who was abused as a child. He is in therapy, and Anastasia frequently references his therapist, but based on how he treats Anastasia, he doesn’t seem to be making much progress. As Anastasia’s relationship with Christian progresses, his controlling tendencies affect her life more and more. When her friend takes portraits of her for his photography exhibit, Christian buys all of them, because he does not want anyone else looking at Anastasia. (They weren’t even in a relationship when he did this.) When she is hired as an assistant at a publishing company, he buys the company — to make sure she’s “safe” working there. When she goes out to a bar with her one friend, against his wishes, he flies from New York to Washington State that same night, just to express his anger — and exercise his control over her. When she does not immediately change her name at her office (in hopes of maintaining some professional autonomy, given that he bought the company she works at), he shows up, unannounced, at her office, in the middle of her workday, to pick a fight with her. When she asks why it is so important to him that she change her name, he says he wants everyone to know she is his.

Christian’s possession of Anastasia is the cause of much of my disgust and fear of the book’s influence on people and how they view romantic relationships. After they exchange their wedding vows, the first words he says to her are, “Finally, you’re mine.” The control he exercises over her does not reflect his love for her; it reflects his objectifying of her. Christian never views Anastasia as a person, let alone an independent woman. He wants her to obey him, and even though she refuses to include that in her wedding vows, it is exactly what she does. When her mother questions her choice to keep her wedding dress on rather than change before traveling for her honeymoon, she says, “Christian likes this dress, and I want to please him.” Her desire to try some of the “kinky fuckery” in his Red Room of Pain comes from wanting to demonstrate her love for him, not her own sexual desires.

Wanting to please Christian apparently includes subjecting herself to verbal and emotional abuse from him ‘til death do them part, because any time she tries to stand up to him — which isn’t often — he berates her, guilt trips her and beats her down verbally until she apologizes and submits to him. After she uses the “safe word” in the Red Room of Pain so he will stop, he bemoans his sad state of mind later, mentioning that his “wife fucking safe worded him.” He is not concerned with her well-being or why she felt the need to use the safe word. He only cares about how it affects him.

The question that I kept asking myself as I read the books was why Anastasia stayed with Christian, and the answer I found was that she has absolutely no sense of self worth. She only feels sexy when he says she is, and when he insults or patronizes her, she accepts what he says as the truth. One of the passages that disgusted me the most was when Anastasia was at a club with Christian, dancing and thinking to herself that she never felt sexy before she met him and that he had given her confidence in her body. Yes, being with a partner who frequently compliments you can increase your confidence, but Anastasia went from zero to one hundred thanks to Christian. None of that came from within herself. Because of his influence on her, nothing in her life came from herself — her job, her home, her way of life, or even her self-esteem.

The co-dependency between Anastasia and Christian is alarming to read and even more to contemplate. When she breaks up with him at the end of the first book, the second book finds her starving herself and wasting away to nothing until he contacts her again. When she thinks his helicopter has crashed in the second book, she thinks to herself that she can’t live without him. Their marriage only comes about because he is scared she will leave him, and when she asks what she can do to prove to him she isn’t going anywhere, he says she can marry him. Yes, origins of insecurity and desperation are a great start to a healthy marriage.

When Anastasia finds herself unexpectedly pregnant and shares the news with Christian, he rages at her, asking if she did it on purpose and storming out of the house, disappearing for hours. Even though Anastasia thinks to herself that the pregnancy happened too soon in their marriage, she never considers terminating it.

The themes of the novel — that love alone can make someone change, that abuse from a spouse is acceptable as long as he’s great in bed, that pregnancies should always be carried to term even if the parents are not ready to be parents, and the ridiculously antiquated, Victorian idea that the love of a pure virgin can save a wayward man from himself — are irrational, unbelievable and dangerous.

Our culture has seen a radical shift of ideals moving towards traditional gender roles and Fifty Shades of Grey is a shining example of that. Early marriage to one’s first sexual partner, having a baby even when saying neither of the partners is ready to be a parent, and submission to one’s husband as the head of the household are all aspects of life that feminists and progressive thinkers have worked to move beyond. Anastasia and Christian’s relationship is not romantic. It is abusive. The ways he tries to “keep her safe” are not masculine or sexy. They are stalking. Fearing one’s husband’s reaction to an unexpected pregnancy is not normal, because “boys will be boys.” It is sad and dangerous and should not happen in a healthy relationship.

Fifty Shades of Grey was one of the best-selling books of the year. Sex toy classes have been inspired by it, as have new types of cocktails. The film adaptation is already in the works. I sincerely hope that honest discussion will be had about the book and that the Christian Grey ideal of romance is not one that will be perpetuated throughout our culture. The best way that can happen is through open, honest dialogue that leads to healthy relationships of two equal partners. That, in my opinion, is sexier than anything that can happen in the Red Room of Pain.

kiryuinragyo:

straight people be like “you are either heter o sexual or homo sex u al there is no bi sexual ity? none. what is pansexual? you like PANS? no. asexual? tree.”

karadin:

jbuffyangel:

smoakandarrow:

This seemed like a pretty important statement from Stephen Amell regarding photo content involving his kid, so I’m signal boosting it so everybody knows and can respect the guy’s wishes.

Agreed. We enjoy the actors and the actor’s WORK. Their children have nothing to do with it. I will never understand this.

just in general don’t reblog pap pics, everyone deserves privacy.

These are forms of male aggression that only women see. But even when men are afforded a front seat to harassment, they don’t always have the correct vantage point for recognizing the subtlety of its operation. Four years before the murders, I was sitting in a bar in Washington, D.C. with a male friend. Another young woman was alone at the bar when an older man scooted next to her. He was aggressive, wasted, and sitting too close, but she smiled curtly at his ramblings and laughed softly at his jokes as she patiently downed her drink. ‘Why is she humoring him?’ my friend asked me. ‘You would never do that.’ I was too embarrassed to say: ‘Because he looks scary’ and ‘I do it all the time.’

Women who have experienced this can recognize that placating these men is a rational choice, a form of self-defense to protect against setting off an aggressor. But to male bystanders, it often looks like a warm welcome, and that helps to shift blame in the public eye from the harasser and onto his target, who’s failed to respond with the type of masculine bravado that men more easily recognize.

Why it’s so hard for men to see misogyny (via ethiopienne)

BOOOM.  Read this if you are a dude, please.

(via geekyjessica)

Yesssssss.

(via quothtehblackbirdnevermoar)

Its hard for men to understand why women dont get loud & angry because they havent spent their entire lives being reprimanded whenever they take up too much space. (via pluralfloral)

In Which Diversity Isn’t a Myth

clementive:

Ok. I’m tired of the typical vampire, werewolf and fairy.I’m also tired of the occidental-centrism in mythology. Hence, this list. 

I tried to include as many cultural variants as I could find and think of. (Unfortunately, I was restricted by language. Some Russian creatures looked very interesting but I don’t speak Russian…) Please, add creatures from your culture when reblogguing (if not already present). It took me a while to gather all those sites but I know it could be more expansive. I intend on periodically editing this list. 

Of note: I did not include specific legendary creatures (Merlin, Pegasus, ect), gods/goddesses/deities and heroes.

Read More

starrify-everything:

TIPS:
Tips For Characterization
21 Harsh But Eye-Opening Tips From Great Authors
The Importance Of Body Language
34 Writing Tips That Will Make You A Better Writer
Things Almost Every Author Needs To Research
Eight Short Story Tips
How To Stop Procrastinating
Ten Exercises In Creativity
How To Show (Not Tell)
Ten Ways To Avoid Writing Insecurity
Why Research Is Important In Writing
Five Ways To Get Out Your Comfort Zone
Seven Ways To Use Brain Science To Hook Readers And Reel Them In
The Difference Between Good And Bad Writers
Five Essential Story Ingredients
Formatting Your Manuscript
Four Ways To Have Confidence In Your Writing
99 Ways To Beat Writers Block
You’re Not Hemingway, Helping You Develop Your Own Skill
Best Apps For Writers
Online Whiteboard
This Sentence Has 5 Words
GRAMMAR (WORDS):
Urban Legends From The World Of Grammar
20 Common Grammar Mistakes
Synonyms For Said
Alternatives For But
Alternatives For Angry
Alternatives For Whispered
200 Words To Describe Light
45 Ways To Avoid Saying Very
Colour Names
Other Ways To Say…
Lay vs Lie
Make Words Longer
Words And Meanings
Common English Mistakes
Online Etymology Dictionary
Tip Of My Tongue
Cliche Finder
NAMES:
7 Rules Of Picking Names For Fictional Characters
Names In Different Time Periods
Behind The Name
Meaning Of Names
Fake Name Generator
Random Name Generator
Quick Name Generator
Fantasy Name Generator
Baby Names Country
Muslim Names And Meanings
Indian Names And Meanings
Name Playground
NOVEL:
How To Rewrite
Editing Recipe
How To Write A Novel
Writing 101: Revising Your Novel
Revising Your Novel: Read What You’ve Written
Finishing Your Novel
Novel Outlining 101
Outline Your Novel In 30 Minutes
13 Most Common Errors On A Novels First Page
How To Organize And Develop Ideas For Your Novel
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT:
Family Tree Maker
Tips For Characterization
Character Trait Masterlist
Character Bio Help
Character Writing Exercise
123 Ideas For Character Flaws
Three Ways To Avoid Lazy Character Description
How To Create Fictional Characters
Writing Magical Characters
Character Development Sheet
Character Development Worksheet
Character Chart
Character Chart For Fiction Writers
100 Character Development Questions For Writers
Ten Questions For Creating Believable Characters
Ten Days Of Character Building
Writing Effective Character Breakdowns
PLOT, CONFLICT, STRUCTURE and OUTLINE:
When To Change Paragraphs
36 (plus 1) Dramatic Situations
How To Write A Death Scene
The Snowflake Method
Effectively Outlining Your Plot
Tips For Creating A Compelling Plot
One Page Plotting
How To Create A Plot Outline In 8 Easy Steps
Choosing The Best Outline Method For You
Creating Conflict And Sustaining Suspense
Conflict Test
What Is Conflict?
Writing The Perfect Scene
How Can You Know What Belongs In Your Book?
SETTING, WORLDBUILDING AND FANTASY:
Masterpost For Writers Creating Their Own World
World Building 101
Creating A Believable World
Maps Workshop - Developing The Fictional World Through Mapping
Creating Fantasy And Science Fiction Worlds
Writing Fantasy
Myths
Creating The Perfect Setting
POINT OF VIEW:
Establishing The Right Point Of View
How To Write In Third Person
The I Problem
OTHERS:
Types Of Crying
Eye Colours
Skin Tones
Who Do I Write Like?
Write Rhymes
Survive Nature
How To Escape After Being Buried Alive In A Coffin

starrify-everything:

TIPS:

Tips For Characterization

21 Harsh But Eye-Opening Tips From Great Authors

The Importance Of Body Language

34 Writing Tips That Will Make You A Better Writer

Things Almost Every Author Needs To Research

Eight Short Story Tips

How To Stop Procrastinating

Ten Exercises In Creativity

How To Show (Not Tell)

Ten Ways To Avoid Writing Insecurity

Why Research Is Important In Writing

Five Ways To Get Out Your Comfort Zone

Seven Ways To Use Brain Science To Hook Readers And Reel Them In

The Difference Between Good And Bad Writers

Five Essential Story Ingredients

Formatting Your Manuscript

Four Ways To Have Confidence In Your Writing

99 Ways To Beat Writers Block

You’re Not Hemingway, Helping You Develop Your Own Skill

Best Apps For Writers

Online Whiteboard

This Sentence Has 5 Words

GRAMMAR (WORDS):

Urban Legends From The World Of Grammar

20 Common Grammar Mistakes

Synonyms For Said

Alternatives For But

Alternatives For Angry

Alternatives For Whispered

200 Words To Describe Light

45 Ways To Avoid Saying Very

Colour Names

Other Ways To Say…

Lay vs Lie

Make Words Longer

Words And Meanings

Common English Mistakes

Online Etymology Dictionary

Tip Of My Tongue

Cliche Finder

NAMES:

7 Rules Of Picking Names For Fictional Characters

Names In Different Time Periods

Behind The Name

Meaning Of Names

Fake Name Generator

Random Name Generator

Quick Name Generator

Fantasy Name Generator

Baby Names Country

Muslim Names And Meanings

Indian Names And Meanings

Name Playground

NOVEL:

How To Rewrite

Editing Recipe

How To Write A Novel

Writing 101: Revising Your Novel

Revising Your Novel: Read What You’ve Written

Finishing Your Novel

Novel Outlining 101

Outline Your Novel In 30 Minutes

13 Most Common Errors On A Novels First Page

How To Organize And Develop Ideas For Your Novel

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT:

Family Tree Maker

Tips For Characterization

Character Trait Masterlist

Character Bio Help

Character Writing Exercise

123 Ideas For Character Flaws

Three Ways To Avoid Lazy Character Description

How To Create Fictional Characters

Writing Magical Characters

Character Development Sheet

Character Development Worksheet

Character Chart

Character Chart For Fiction Writers

100 Character Development Questions For Writers

Ten Questions For Creating Believable Characters

Ten Days Of Character Building

Writing Effective Character Breakdowns

PLOT, CONFLICT, STRUCTURE and OUTLINE:

When To Change Paragraphs

36 (plus 1) Dramatic Situations

How To Write A Death Scene

The Snowflake Method

Effectively Outlining Your Plot

Tips For Creating A Compelling Plot

One Page Plotting

How To Create A Plot Outline In 8 Easy Steps

Choosing The Best Outline Method For You

Creating Conflict And Sustaining Suspense

Conflict Test

What Is Conflict?

Writing The Perfect Scene

How Can You Know What Belongs In Your Book?

SETTING, WORLDBUILDING AND FANTASY:

Masterpost For Writers Creating Their Own World

World Building 101

Creating A Believable World

Maps Workshop - Developing The Fictional World Through Mapping

Creating Fantasy And Science Fiction Worlds

Writing Fantasy

Myths

Creating The Perfect Setting

POINT OF VIEW:

Establishing The Right Point Of View

How To Write In Third Person

The I Problem

OTHERS:

Types Of Crying

Eye Colours

Skin Tones

Who Do I Write Like?

Write Rhymes

Survive Nature

How To Escape After Being Buried Alive In A Coffin

guy: hey i like video games too!!!
me: awesome what do you like to play?
guy: cod and fifa
me: .................. bye

beesmygod:

videogamebf:

if video games arent art then explain this

oh my god its back. the light of my life has returned

criedwolves:

how do anime characters keep their eyebrows in front of their hair

karasratworld:

You haven’t seen happiness until you’ve seen 7 rats in a box of (pet safe) packing peanuts